There once was a bloke, call him Kevin
Who wanted the Lodge in ’07
He took all Howard’s tricks
And copied them, nix!
With dreams of a pork barrel heaven.

See, Howard had gone spent some cash
From the Budget, on roads where trucks crash
Vital infrastructure, he said
Without which exports would be dead
And voters in marginals would gnash.

Young Kevin, meanwhile, thought he’d try
To bribe folks who a house they would buy
Less tax on their savings
To forget rate-rise cravings!
Nevermind where real price rises lie.

So neither team ever really tried
To hit the real causes; they’d just fly
From each city to town,
Doling cash from the Crown
And wishing inflation would say bye.